The people we met with at Stanford were amazing! I'm so hopeful that we'll make some progress there. The therapist we met with was wonderful - and seemed to understand so much of what we've been through. She explained things about Lily's behavior that I didn't understand. How the amygdala is busy firing and gets in the way of prefrontal cortex processing, resulting in some of the impulsive and risky behavior I've been seeing.
It's been like watching Lily regress. Since she was a little kid she's known it's not safe to run into the street, but that's just the kind of behavior that's been cropping up and puzzling me. Escalating fears, inability to reason during an argument with her brother, understanding boundaries. She's been losing rational bits of herself, and I'm sure she doesn't even understand what's happening.
So, fingers crossed, we're hoping for that miracle that will return my daughter to us. Different meds, better therapy, family support so I know what the hell to do at any given moment, instead of feeling helpless and ineffective as a parent. If I understood it better, I might be able to more effectively deal with teachers and other adults who judge without knowing the facts.
One thing is for sure. As tired and scared as I get, I'll keep chipping away until we get some more useful answers. I will not abandon my daughter in her time of need.