Wednesday, March 2, 2011

Yeah But . . .

Still on a huge learning curve here.  Lily's psychiatrist was out for a week, but available by phone for emergencies.  But we didn't know any of that.  Lily needed a refill for her Zyprexa, and I phoned it in to the pharmacy.  They faxed a refill request to our pdoc, who didn't get the fax because she was off.  I finally phoned at the end of the week and got things figured out, but meanwhile . . . I screwed up Lily's meds.  I had 5 mg tablets of the Zyprexa, and gave Lily 3 each night for 4 days, until I realized she should be on 20 mg,  or four pills. 

That wasn't bad enough.  We also ran out of Intuniv.  I thought, no big deal, it's a small dose of a mild ADHD med and we're set to see the pdoc next week, so we'll get a refill then.  Wrong.  Lily experienced increasingly higher levels of mania and anxiety and went into a full on panic attack by mid week.  We ended up in urgent care (not ER thank God!) and her heart rate was in the 150's and 160's.  She hyperventilated, and was finally calmed with a Xanax.  We also administered Toprol to bring her heart rate down and we were able to go home.

And really, it was my fault.  No matter that this was the first time I've messed up her meds, she wouldn't have had to go through any of it if I'd been on the ball.  My lesson is, no med is too insiginificant in this equation, they all matter.

So we managed through it and learned the lesson, and had Lily's IEP meeting this week.  She has good support at school and I appreciate the team involved, but I did feel the undercurrent of an adversarial attitude.  Much was made of the fact that Lily's attendance has been poor.  She was out all fall semester because she was too fragile to attend, and she did have a truly miserable time of it last year.  But I'm also the  mother of another kid at the school who has perfect attendance and straight A's.  So why do I feel like they were censoring my parenting?  Was it really about my own feelings of inadequacy, should I just blow it off and move on?  Probably.  What's important is that Lily will get some much needed support on campus, and I may get to return to my regular work schedule. (and maybe be able to pay some bills . . . )  But it nags at me that the principal, et al, don't understand or acknowledge how hard I've worked to help my daughter.

Time to get over the need to please.  I have more important things to handle.

1 comment:

  1. Oh Honey, I feel your termoil. Messing up the meds is such a horrible feeling. I've been there; I know it's all on my shoulders yet I had to fill only one scrip at a time till I met the insurance deductible, cutting it close always. I've frequently had to use the smaller .25mg PRN (as needed) to make up for the 2mg untill I could afford to get it filled. She hated taking 8 pills at a time instead of 1, who wouldn't. The latest had to do with running out of the ADHD med as well when I was recovering from surgery. It was tracked down to physician error; the pediatrician wrote the script for only the morning and not for noon, albiet a 3 month supply, and I didn't catch it. I thought I was loosing my mind! Needless to say, the three days of vacation from school, when they were out of meds, were hell here at home. I don't know WHY it just had to happen over vacation, but I can certainly relate to the adversarial feelings from the school... "They" called child protective to investigate when I told them they'd gone three days without! :(

    I do think that if the school has created a wonderful support team for your daughter, yet continues to blather about the lost school days then they just don't get that part. It sounds like school is their main priority and with that, what is best for her, so when she is there know that they are taking care of her well. However, know that you have and continue to do the very best for your dear Lilly that you can. You know what is best for her. Besides, the fact that you have a student with perfect attendence gives them NO right to even LOOK at your values about school and parenting your children... GAWD!