We are busily interacting with a new care team, and getting a very different perspective. The new team, consisting of a therapist as well as TBS therapists, a psychologist and soon, a new psychiatrist, are offering an amazing level of support. Our journey will be an uphill battle, but I'm holding out for greatly improved function for Lily and more balance for our family.
One of the keys to this new approach will be the guidance I receive so that I can more effectively help Lily. Holding appropriate boundaries, helping her to see that she isn't powerless in her disorder, but that she is strong enough to effect a different outcome. I've been working on some of these boundaries for awhile, and I have to acknowledge that it's hard for Lily when I change the rules. Still, I'll continue, and I'll keep explaining to Lily as we go along why I'm making the decisions that I am. It's not a lack of love that influences my decision to enforce a boundary, rather it's the strength of my love that allows me to make a change that's hard, that makes Lily unhappy.
In the end I simply want our whole family to function in a healthy, more free way. A better environment will help heal Lily's relationships with the family and will lower my stress level.
Towards that end, I returned to school this week and am still working on getting Lily's school placement organized. For me, it felt amazing to get back to the university. The drive over was beautiful, focusing on fine tuning my schedule and contemplating the material I'll be studying was great. I even have a social dance class for my PE requirement. I was intimidated, but it seems like it'll be low key and fun. I love dance, and I have no illusions about being a competitive ballroom dancer, but I love the movement, rhythm and joy of a waltz or the hustle. Two sides of a coin.
I'm going to consider this a move towards getting our lives back. I know there will be challenges, but if I've learned anything this past year, it's that we don't want to stay on the path we were walking, and I refuse to believe we can't do anything to make it better. Yes, we can.