Wednesday, September 21, 2011

Craaazy Tired (Yes, I used the "C" word!)

Things are still so remarkably good, I'm counting my blessings all the time.  The small danger with this is that I have my rose colored glasses firmly in place, and I tend to overlook warning signs and smallish issues that I honestly need to stay on top of.  So, this is me, trying to stay real while enjoying a completely different world.

Lily is doing well in school.  She doesn't always want to be there, and keeping her on track with attendance will be my challenge.  So far, I've been able to get her to hang in there, even when she calls me because she doesn't feel well.  That's a huge accomplishment!  Having the school on board with that is amazing.

The IEP meeting is coming up, and her therapist will be there, so I feel really good about getting what we need.  Her english teacher may not be a great fit, but that doesn't mean she can't handle it.  I'm keeping very close tabs on her school experience.

So, yeah, I'm tired.  Still trying to accommodate Lily and her brother enough so that they stay unstressed with homework and on track.  I bounce back and forth between them for homework help when I should also be getting some of my own homework done.  But that's largely an issue of time management for me.  I don't have tons of time because of the driving I do every day, but I can get more disciplined about what I focus on.  And the kids both willingly participated in sharing chores on the weekend for some collective house cleaning.  Awesome!

My time management challenge is about the fact that I actually have some now and I want to sleep and visit people and take long walks and shop and read and veg out and go to the beach and on and on . . . all the things I've been missing out on.  But it is time to get serious about my classwork so that I don't get too stressed.

Going to dance classes on the weekend has been absolutely fabulous.  I'm remembering how much I really love dance.  I learned the fox trot last weekend and had so much fun - I feel a little bit like the old me, before kids and other obligations.  I'm not wishing away my kids, who I adore with nearly everything in me, nor am I rewriting my awful childhood.  But I do remember having dreams and a certainty that I could accomplish whatever I chose.  I still have that core belief, along with an understanding that nothing worthwhile will come without a lot of work.

So right at this moment in time, life is good, I'm happy and grateful and feel like we're on a very good path.

Thank you, and goodnight.


  1. I'm so glad things are going so good, it's nice to see that your seeing a little of the old you. I too am trying to enjoy myself more, now that the kids are in school, all of them, I am doing things I've never done, like sneaking in a movie in the middle of the day. It was so much fun, it felt like I was cutting class or something. Today I had lunch with my Dad. It's nice to go out into the world and enjoy some "me"time, it's also good for our stress!

  2. So glad to hear you're getting out a bit. Knowing it's important and feeling able to do it are two different things, aren't they?